Writer Profile: Hank

Hank’s true origins are unknown, yet several rumors persist.

One states that he comes from the Northwest, born of a great clamshell.

Another claims that he was begat by a union of stellar gasses in a distant galaxy.

Others claim that he derives his name, Hank, from the great lineage that he keeps a mystery, but is rumored to include both Hank Aaron AND Hank Williams. Many believe this story to be true because Hank is both a sports expert and an country music aficionado.

But the one most people believe, and I am one, say that he was originally brought forth by an ancient clan of Cave Bears and raised in a time when all beasts and men could change their form. Truly there was no difference between species other than their own perceptions, which, occasionally, they decided to change.

Eventually he began to work with others chronicling their lives on the walls of caves, the sides of rocks-anywhere an image could be made. Especially where they could be seen and shared by others for many years. Now, drawing and painting on cave walls in the form of a Bear is quite hard. Just you try and hold a paint slathered stick in a paw! So Hank decided to change, pretty much permanently, into the form of a human being. He liked human females better anyway. Though they can crush your heart they can't crush your skull with one swipe of their forearm!

After living for years as a tortured cave artist, Hank decided to exercise his true talent: his intellect. He is now in graduate school, pursuing a degree in Communication so that one day, he might share the great story of his life through words, not just with his cave paintings.