Sunday, December 23, 2007

Worst of 2007 -- A Call for Nominations

Well what would the end of the year be without a nice post where we throw in one last rant about 2007? This year we are kicking off a new tradition with a "Worst of" post in which we will decide on who the big losers are from this year. Below is a list of categories. Please take a moment to read them and submit your nominations for any or all of the categories. Sometime around the new year we will post the winners.

The Categories:

Song that should have never made it on to the airwaves

Movie that least deserved to be in theaters

Most useless consumer product

Most ridiculous celebrity moment

Most un-newsworthy news story

Person who was the worst at life

Dumbest statement

Ugliest fashion trend

Most embarrassing moment for our country

Overall worst moment of the year (aka thing about 2007 that pissed you off the most)

Best thing about 2007 (because there is bound to be something)

Submit your nominations now!

Monday, December 10, 2007

What kind of fuckery is this? Pt.3 - Ham Soda edition

Jones Soda is marketing four new flavors of soda just in time for the holiday season. (CNN) The "Christmas Pack" as they call it features Sugar Plum, Christmas Tree, Egg Nog, and perhaps the most mouthwatering flavor Christmas Ham.

Now, if you are one of the dozens of people in this world that have had the thought, "Hmm...this ham is good, but I wonder what it would be like if I could drink it. I bet that would be much better" this comes as good news. Finally, your ham flavored beverage dreams have come true.

However, for the other 6 billion intelligent people that inhabit this planet, this is a slap in the face to deceny and self respect. Why? No one should drink a goddamn ham flavored drink. No one. Not your mother. Not your Aunt Glenda. Not Bob from down the street with the tennis court in his front yard. NO ONE.

Now, I have not tasted the drink, and I have no plans to do so (See above for why). So, could it possibly be a taste explosion of wonder and delight? Could it possibly be the one drink that makes the holiday season merry and bright? Could it be the best tasting soda ever?

Um, NO!

It's a drink that tastes like a motherfucking ham. If that hasn't dawned on you yet, then you need to do the rest of us a favor and put yourself in a self induced coma for a few years. Sit a few years out. We won't miss you.

Now, some may say that "I'm buying these because I read that a portion of the proceeds go to charity." While this may be true, no charity in the world could possibly be in such dire need that they have to accept money from the sales of Christmas Ham Soda.

So, if you want to ensure that decency and good taste doesn't officially call it quits this holiday season, please keep Ham Flavored Beverages off your Christmas List. I know delicious Ham flavoring in a can is tempting, but please, show some restraint.