Tuesday, April 10, 2007


They're made from high-quality cheap rubber! They can do a job that knives have been doing for centuries! They are about as useful as a solar-powered flashlight!
They're...TATER MITTS!

Probably from the same geniuses that brought us such brilliantly useless inventions as the Chia Pet and Paris Hilton, comes the answer to all of your potato peeling problems.

If you are like me, you probably lie awake at night, agonizing over how long it takes to peel an average potato. You toss and turn, wondering if there will ever be a device that will let you strip an entire sack of that Idaho goodness of its fleshy prison in a matter of seconds.

Well, worry no more. Tater Mitts have arrived!

These rubbery devices will alter reality as we know it. Just slip on a pair of these sexy, knobbly gloves and watch in awe as you fondle the skin off of your spud quicker than William Harrison's presidency. Not only can you strip potatoes, you can jerk off other vegetables as well!

The wheel was a good invention. Tater Mitts are a great one!

And how is clean-up you might ask? Simple! Just run Tater Mitts under hot water and then painstakingly pick out all of the excess skin with a toothpick. It's as easy as Quantum Physics!

Sure, prisons will have to come up with new ways to distract their inmates, and professional potato peelers will all be unemployed, but isn't that a small price to pay to shave five minutes off of cooking prep time? Just think, with Tater Mitts, you will get to stuff your fat face with French fries in no time! And for only $19.95!

Forget learning valuable hand-eye coordination. Ignore all those perfectly good knives that you already own. Say "NO" to hard work and "YES" to Tater Mitts!


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