Sunday, April 8, 2007

Writer Profile: GMoney

In January of 2007, number-one ranked cyclist in the world, GMoney, gave it all up in the name of true love. While romance has plagued many an athlete, GMoney left cycling for a complicated and troubled lady: the backwoods of the Deep South.

Born on September 18, 1971, in Plano, Texas, GMoney began taking part in athletic activities at a youthful age. By 13, he was entering triathlons, later focusing on cycling and turning pro at 16. He won the National Amateur Cycling Championship in 1991, but the following year he finished 14th at the Olympic Summer Games in Barcelona. He rebounded in 1993, winning the Pro Cycling Tour's Triple Crown.

While many fans know GMoney for his athletic ability, he has also been a fashion icon for thousands. From his pairing of the necktie with jeans to his patented three-product hairstyle, GMoney was renowned as a trendsetter.

All of this changed, however, in January of 2007. Upon entering graduate school to study Communication, GMoney gave up his professional aspirations of cycling and devoted himself to gaining a true understanding of what it means to be “Southern.”

While he still rides occasionally, GMoney can most often be whittlin’ in his rocking chair on his back porch. When asked how he felt about his new-found love for the South, GMoney spoke in what can only be assumed to be a Southern tongue. While the writer of this bio unfortunately cannot translate his words to mainstream English, maybe those of you who are of Southern lineage will understand:

Now, I don't want to git no higher'n pullin' fodder, nur no lower'n diggin' taters, but just ‘cause a chicken got wings, don’t mean it can fly. My Daddy always said Don't go off with your pistol half cocked. You can put your boots in the oven, but that don’t make 'em biscuits. After all, if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. Good ole’ Daddy, he was so tall he could hunt geese with a rake. But like mama used to say, He's about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt. Now gimme some sugar.

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